Eighth Post

Primary Elementary Teachers Chatboard
http://teachers.net/mentors/primary_elementary/

Topic I Posted: How to be friendly with colleagues
Dates Spanning: 11/11/08 - 11/14/08
I have a few friends who are already teaching. When I am with them, and they are talking about teaching, it seems almost impossible to get a word in edgewise. Not only do they have a lot of teaching stories to tell but they also have a ton of gossip and complaints. This bothers me a lot. I have never been one to gossip (or complain much) and I don’t want to get sucked into those conversations. I don’t like the negativity. (Also, I know that gossip can only lead to trouble- and I don’t like drama!) However, I don’t want to appear as if I am snooty or antisocial because I do not participate in these types of conversations. I want to start my new career on the right foot. This is why I posted a new thread asking if anyone had any suggestions on how to be friendly with colleagues without disclosing too much personal information or appearing to be antisocial. I advised that I want to avoid gossip and be able to maintain a balanced, professional relationship with my future colleagues.

Responses to the Question I Posted:
One person stated that articulating such a goal is half the battle. He/she stated to be “warm” and I will be well-received. He/she also advised to “be uncomplaining” (since most others are) and to lend a listening ear to others’ complaints (but not gossip). This person explained that it is safe to be a good listener and that it’s easy to appear very social just by listening and laughing (at the appropriate moments) since there are so many other people who love to talk and/or dominate conversations. This person gave the most in depth response but a few other people suggested trying to stay positive- to refrain from complaining and to try to talk about positives of the day. One person recommended specifics such as talking about a good adult book, a movie I’ve seen, or a social event I’ve attended. Another person gave a caveat by advising to: “Watch what you say.” (I’m assuming this means, don’t gossip or be negative because you never know who you’re talking to or how it might end up affecting you!) On the other hand, another teacher stated that she has a different view. She explained that she was able to develop close relationships with her co-workers. She holds the belief that their expanded relationships caused their school relationships to improve. Unfortunately, this teacher did not offer any suggestions on building similar, close/strong relationships!

Useful Information for My Teaching Future:
After evaluating the responses to my post, I think the main idea is to remain positive- for myself and for the sake of others! In addition, while around my future colleagues, I will try to avoid gossip altogether- or at least not offer any additional input. I will also be a good listener and, when necessary, offer upbeat comments!

What I Would Tell Others When Joining a Teacher Listserv:
I would give others the most simple and logical suggestion: choose listservs that you have a genuine interest in- you might be surprised about what you can learn! People are very honest and usually very passionate about their opinions. There is a reason why people take part in these discussions- and (for most) the reason doesn’t appear to be boredom! Also, I think people like to talk about what they know or what they’ve learned. Being able to give a suggestion or some advice gives people a sense of satisfaction. Although there are some questionable responses, it is possible to weed through them. You can get a feel for who has a lot of experience (and who truly cares) just by assessing the information that is given- and how the person presents it (i.e. no grammar errors)! In addition, don’t be overwhelmed or disheartened by the negativity that you might come across. Unfortunately, a lot of people use the chatboards as a forum for venting rather than a forum for offering constructive criticism. All in all, listservs can be a great tool for teaching and learning- you just have to use them with the right attitude and take all comments with a grain of salt.

How the Experience Compared to My Expectations:
Honestly, I didn’t have any expectations about joining listservs because I had no previous knowledge about them! Now that I am familiar with how to use them, I’m definitely going to continue to use them through my career. I thought it was exciting to receive responses from strangers and I was really surprised (and thankful) that so many people took the time to answer! Actually, I thought- and still think- that it’s astonishing to see so many people take part in these discussions- especially knowing how little spare time teachers have! Additionally, it’s great to know that there is a safe place I can go to ask for advice and/or suggestions. I can remain anonymous all the while receiving many candid responses. (As a side note, it was interesting to see how varied people’s opinions can be! It just goes to show that even though we all have the same title (teacher), our different experiences shape and have a major effect on how we handle day-to-day matters.)